Tuesday, December 15, 2009

UNFINE DAYS..........

while writing this feeling is getting better than yesterday...i supposed to wrote these stuff yesterday..but since my days is unfine so i forgot to write down anything....

yesterday was my review at Damai Specialist, should be yesterday and today is my daughter appoinment with her skin doctor in Keningau...but all appointment since yesterday was cancelled due to my hubby works..duh!!what an unfortunate holidays for me...i todd there is no excuse for me to follow my schedule..but now ..all FINISHED!!! DONE!!!no more review for me again..i decided for not taking any medicine or make any appointment after this! why??because my life and my things doesn't important than other things to my hubby..he is spending his time with his carrier and me with my two kids+baby in my tummy have to survive alone!YEAH,,,,this is what i called a BAD MOOD mode...i don't have anyone to tell only God knows why...

God, why?why?everything seems doesnt important for him except his works..his acting like nothing happen and can't blamed him on this..well, if i'm not on this condition,i myself will drive alone my daughter to her appointment with the doctor..but since this is my 3rd pregnancy and almost coming to 7mnths, so i refuse to drive far from Ranau actually..but,after all appointments was cancelled and i feel start from this moment, no matter how many weeks i was i have to be independent preggy woman matter how far it is, i still have to do it all by myself..what else i can do??begging others people to help me on this small matter?while your own husband were there but gv a lot excuses to send you to your appontment??this time i really feel down to sorry darl, but this is only a human, i still need your attention more..together with the kids..and i todd with my 3rd pregnancy will going so fine, no more stress..but its not as easy i was think..i need more rest but its not like the way i hope saddd...and it make me in a badly serious mood...what a bad xmas holidays for me..:'(((((((

i don't want to keep writing, coz i hurt so much at this afraid that the more i write the more HATE i keep inside me..and its not good for me and the baby..:'(((
what i should do now is keep praying and ask for God forgiveness for my guilty...:(